The last of our friends to leave (after spending another hour loitering in my apartment) were Hikari and Takeru. Our siblings wanted to talk to us without the others around, since the topic was family. I sat on one end of the sofa, Taichi next to me, and Hikari next to her brother. Takeru sat in one of the sofa chairs, where he could see all of us at once.
My dear younger brother gave me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for telling everyone about you guys, Matt, without even thinking you and Taichi might not want to say anything yet.”
I shrugged, dismissing the apology. “It’s fine, Keru. Doesn’t matter now anyway.”
“We haven’t really had time to talk about…well, everything. Actually.” Taichi added, glancing sideways at me. “But we will.” I nodded, understanding the promise to me in his words.
“I’m so happy right now, if my ankle wasn’t so touchy, I’d do a happy dance.” Hikari seemed to feel the need to share with us. Taichi gave her a one-armed hug by her shoulders and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.
“I’m happy that you’re happy, sweetheart.” He said, leaning back in his seat and stretching his legs out in front of himself. “Besides, I’m pretty damned happy, myself, and I’m glad you and Takeru are okay with us.”
I rolled my eyes, remembering what Takeru had told me a couple of days earlier.
“Of course we are, Taichi!” Takeru exclaimed.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Hikari added, puzzled. “We’ve always known there was something between the two of you, more than just really good friends. And you’ve been wanting to tell Matt how you felt for a long time!”
I raised an eyebrow at that. I guess he’d had to confess to someone and it would be Hikari. Still, I’d have to ask him later what those ‘reasons’ of his were for holding back that he’d mentioned during our fight on the beach earlier.
Taichi laughed nervously, watching me a bit warily. I think he took my raised eyebrow the wrong way.
“Yeah, well…water under the bridge now, Kari.” He hastily moved the subject along. “Anyway, I’m glad.”
“Me, too.” I agreed.
“Are you going to tell Dad?” Takeru asked me, looking a little unsure of the idea. “Or Mom?”
I remembered Dad’s visit earlier this week and stared down at my lap, picking the invisible lint on my pants, blushing a bit. “Dad’s not a problem. I don’t know about Mom.”
“He’s not?” Taichi wondered, I could feel his eyes on me. I cleared my throat and nodded.
“He dropped by earlier this week. Told me a few things I guess he wanted me to know – one of which was that he knew how I felt about you and that he…he basically gave his blessing.” I dared to look up at Taichi with a weak smile. Poor guy looked about as pole-axed as I’d felt that day.
“Cool!” Takeru exclaimed, smiling. “If it helps, Matt, I don’t think Mom will have issues, either. She knows about Ken and Daisuke, and they don’t bother her.”
“But neither of them is her son.” I pointed out, shrugging. “I’ll probably tell her, Keru, someday. Maybe not immediately, but…”
Hikari looked quite sad. “What about our parents, Taichi?”
The older Yagami sighed despondently, falling back in his seat and staring up at nothing on the ceiling. After a long moment of contemplation, he spoke up.
“I’ll tell Dad. Eventually. I don’t really care what he thinks anyway. As for…well. I won’t tell her, for her own peace of mind. It would just make things worse for her to know I’m with Matt.”
I reached over and found his had, linking our fingers tightly and holding on with a silent squeeze.
Hikari nodded slowly. “It’ll be alright, Taichi. You have Matt, now. And you’ll always have him, and us.” She took his other hand.
Taichi smiled, and it warmed my soul to see it because it was real and true and all Taichi. A smile none of us had seen for far too long.
“Believe me, little sister, I know.”
They stayed a while longer, but when our siblings noticed I was falling asleep (curled up between the sofa arm and Taichi as we talked) they rose and decided it was time to leave.
I stifled a yawn and followed them to the door, Taichi right behind me. His arm slid around my waist and hung onto me as we said our goodbyes to Takeru and Hikari, and I leaned into him, feeling immensely content with the world.
“Goodbye, you two.” Hikari waved as she moved out the door. “Don’t forget to cal us one of these days or we’ll have to come over uninvited and drag out into the daylight!”
I’m sure Taichi and I had absolutely ridiculous expressions on our faces at that less than innocent implication from Hikari.
Takeru just laughed openly and winked at us as he closed the door behind them.
When the astonishment wore off, I groaned and turned to face my best friend and…lover. That’s one word I was looking forward to using to describe Taichi for the rest of our lives.
“I could say something horribly cheesy like, ‘alone at last!’ but I’ll refrain.” Taichi grinned, reaching for me.
I scoffed and stepped into his space, already moving in for the kiss I somehow sensed was coming. I slid my fingers through the hair at the back of his head and drew him in close. “It would also be stating the obvious.” I murmured, my eyes drifting closed when he came too close to be able to focus on him without my eyes crossing. “So don’t say anything. Kiss me instead.”
His lips found mine and took immediate possession. Of course, I wasn’t exactly putting up any resistance here. Where I’d been too full of emotional chaos last time, I was now paying much closer attention to what we were doing. I focused on the surprising softness of his lips, the gentleness that was hidden under the strength of his mouth on mine that spoke of not just affection but love. And the tingling heat that I could feel radiating from many different sources from him, heat that ignited a spark in me that I hadn’t known existed, heat that called to me in a primal sort of way. That fire was passion, and desire, and pure lust.
The relatively chaste kiss didn’t survive very long between us. I heard him groan softly and then his tongue flicked along my bottom lip. My mouth opened in response and his head tilted just so as suddenly we kissed again – a long, slow, deep and very thorough one that made my head spin and my body tremble. I kissed back with equal intensity, and I savoured every single new sensation overtaking me. He tasted wonderful, very subtly sweet with a hint of the flavour of his coffee from earlier. And his scent was intoxicating. Every breath gave me freshly cut grass on a warm sunshiny day, the faintly lingering smell of his citrus-scented soap and hair products, and under all that was the scent of pure Taichi – a musky, almost spicy scent that made my most base instincts want to sink my teeth into him and mark him as mine.
I kind of wished I could see into his head and find out if he noticed such things about me, but the thought was a mere blink of an eye before it was lost in the sea of sensations.
I kissed him again, harder this time, more impatient and demanding, unable to get enough of him to calm the storm that was trickling along my spine and settling in my groin. Of course it was only fuelling the fire not dampening it, but that’s what I wanted. More. Everything. All of him. After months of coming to terms with my feelings, the hiding and silent wanting, and all the angst in between, I wanted it all.
Kneading the nape of his neck as our kisses turned into shorter, harder ones (though no less deep or passionate), I hooked my other arm around his shoulders and pressed myself fully against him, absolutely wanton. He made a startled grunting noise then growled low in his throat, catching my bottom lip with his teeth and nibbling as his hands fell from my arms to my hips.
I let out a moan and my head fell back, nearly whimpering with pleasure as Taichi dragged his mouth along the line of my jaw and let his tongue flicker across the pulse in my neck – right before he latched onto it fully and sucked. Hard.
I cried out helplessly from the dual pain-pleasure of that marking (apparently he was feeling just as primal as I was), clutching at him as a shudder rippled through me. My god…how was it possible for anything to feel this good?
“Oh god, Tai…” I moaned, feeling my knees buckle. “Yes…”
He chuckled darkly at my reaction and nuzzled at my neck, lightly kissing the no doubt bruised area he’d just created. “You’re mine now, Yama. All mine. I want you, Ishida. Now.”
“Yes-s-s-s-s…” I hissed, reaching for one of his hands and grabbing it. I stepped away and turned, heading for his room and the nice, roomy bed there. “So come and get me, Yagami.”
Oh wow. Was that my voice all lustful and gravelly? And fuck did I need to get out of my jeans before the circulation to my painfully hard erection got cut off. I adjusted myself in my pants but it didn’t help.
I stopped next to the bed and faced him again, raising an eyebrow when he turned his lamp on to illuminate his dark, windowless room. I reached for my shirt and started undoing buttons, meeting his eyes dead on with no hesitation, no shyness. There was no room for that here, not with Taichi. If I’d had any self-doubts they’d have disappeared with the glittering lust and blatant admiration in his eyes anyway – eyes gone molten and dark chocolate brown. Our eyes never left each other as we stripped off our shirts, then our socks, and our various accessories (my belt, wristbands, and watch, and Taichi’s headband and watch). I yanked off my jeans just as Taichi was dropping his watch on the corner of his desk and nearly fell over dizzy at the relief from the constriction of that denim. Taichi, still in his track pants – and have I mentioned how goddamn sexy they are on him? – came up to me and pulled me against him with a tempered aggressiveness that made me tingle all over with anticipation.
I was so owned.
“Fuck!” He swore as our bare chests connected. Ohhh damn! All this bare, gorgeously tanned skin for me to explore…I couldn’t help rubbing myself against him and I heard him growl another curse before he caught my chin and claimed my mouth once again.
Happy to let him kiss the oxygen out of my lungs, I began my devoted exploration of his truly fabulous half-naked physique with my hands. I tried to run my fingers over every possible inch of naked skin I could find while any coherent thoughts I might have had were sucked out of my brain as quickly as my air with the intensity of his kisses. My fingers splayed across his chest, rubbing and kneading, and I felt a shiver run through him. I smiled and let one hand drift lower until I felt the edge of the waistband of his track pants. Letting my fingertips trail along that line toward his back, I evaded his next kiss and met his gaze.
“As much as I love these on you, I think they’ll be better off.” I practically purred at him. “Take ‘em off, Tai.” I snapped the waistband once to emphasize my request.
Taichi grinned, kissing me fiercely again before he took a step back and reached for his pants. I turned to the bed and pulled back the covers to the end of the bed, and when I turned back to him he was just stepping out of his pants…and underwear.
My mouth went dry and I ran my eyes down his tanned, athletic body. He was toned muscle, whipcord lean, and quietly powerful with it. My gaze lingered on his groin, and suddenly my mouth wasn’t dry any longer. I licked my lips, unable to tear my eyes away from his erection.
A sound much like his previous growls came from him a split second before he tackled me. I yelped in surprise, falling backward and bouncing on the mattress a bit with Taichi’s bulk pressing down on me. Wriggling, I laughed and caught him by the shoulders.
“What the hell, Tai?” I chuckled, raising my hands to run my fingers through his bushy, wild head of hair. With a rather pleased smile, he levered himself up on his forearms to take some of his weight off me and look down.
“Mmm…couldn’t help it. You’re just too fucking sexy, Yama.” He informed me, glancing downward. “Even if you’re not totally naked yet. I think I’ll fix that.” Taichi slid down and hooked his fingers around my boxer-briefs, yanking them off me without a thought. I squirmed and wriggled, lifting my hips to help him. Hell yes. And there it goes, over his shoulder to land somewhere obscure on the floor.
Taichi clambered back up to straddle one of my thighs, sitting back on his heels and taking me in. I grabbed one of his pillows and stuffed it under my head before sprawling myself out in a purely hedonistic display on my part. I watched him watch me, lifting an arm to rest up above my head on the pillow, and brought one finger to my lips, eyes drifting half-shut. I was totally caught up in how he was staring at me.
“Now what was it you called me once?” I pretended to think about it as I very slowly drew my finger down my chin, my throat, and across my collarbone. I felt rather smug by the fact that his dark eyes followed that finger, enthralled. “Oh yes. ‘Rock and roll sex god’ was one of the things you said.” I batted my eyes at him playfully, smirking when he made a strangled sound and slapped my hand out of his way as he covered me with his body.
“You vain bastard.” He pinched a nipple between his fingers and rolled it, tugging slightly. Pinpricks of heat and pleasure shot through me and I gasped, my back involuntarily arching into him. “You’re really trying to rile me up, aren’t you?”
“Oh, but you like it, Tai.” I snuck my arm past his and hooked it around his torso, splaying my hand to his back, pressing to encourage him to move closer. “Besides, you’re the only one I’d be this open with. Ever.”
He smiled, his eyes softening. “I know. And I’m in awe of that, believe me.” Taichi brushed my hair back out of my face, stroking my cheek tenderly. “I love you, Yama.” He said, not giving me a chance to reply, dipping his head to kiss me. This time it was long and slow and sweet. It made my eyes flutter closed and something ache wonderfully in my chest. I kissed back, pouring everything I felt for Taichi into it. I hoped he could understand everything I wasn’t saying with words.
When he finally released my mouth, I gasped in a lungful of air and wheezed, “I love you, too!”
Taichi’s hand drifted down to my chest, finding my other nipple and playing with it while he watched my reactions fly across my face and body.
“I want to make love to you, Yama…but I don’t think we’re quite ready for that. Not yet.” He gave a blushing, uncharacteristically meek smile. It could have been the high sap factor going on (which at any other time would have me rolling around on the floor laughing my ass off). “And we aren’t prepared for, uh…”
“Sex.” I said, nodding my understanding. He was right; we weren’t ready for the full act. We had too many other things to discuss first, and we weren’t prepared for sex itself – meaning a lack of condoms or lube. Like I’d once told my Dad, we ‘kids’ these days knew plenty about sex, even if we hadn’t actually experienced most of it, and Taichi and I were even less stupid about it than your average high school graduate. In this case, we knew the mechanics of it all, but we didn’t want to do something that would turn out wrong and end up causing harm. For now, this first (or second, if you count the handjob) time together it was enough just to be together and to have the chance at active participation.
I tilted my head slightly and grinned at him. “You can say the word, Tai. I’ve heard you say it before.” I poked him on the hip. “Besides which, you’re lying on top of me, we’re naked, and we’re doing our best to get off with each other as lovers for the first time. Don’t go shy on me now, Yagami!”
He scowled at me, not particularly offended but certainly a tad embarrassed. “Well excuse me for being a little nervous. And are you implying I might not be living up to my Crest, here, Ishida?”
“Nah.” I denied, slowly smoothing my hand from the centre of his back to the tight, rounded curves of his ass. Taichi’s eyes nearly crossed and I even got a moan out of him. “What’s to be nervous about? No seriously, Tai.” I insisted when he frowned at me like I was on crack or something. “I don’t want either of us to do this if we’re not totally okay with it.” I even removed my hand from his delectable backside – though I did give it a couple of fond pats before resting it on more neutral territory at his shoulder blade.
“Performance anxiety? I don’t know.” Taichi shrugged helplessly. “It’s probably for no real reason.”
I snorted and bit my lip to hold back the laugh that wanted to come out. “Sorry!” I apologized when he gave me an unhappy look.
“It’s not funny, Yama.”
“I know! I’m sorry, it’s just that you don’t have to worry about your ‘performance’ with me, Tai. If you can blow my mind with a simple handjob when the both of us are still mostly asleep, then when we’re wide awake and paying attention…”
He blinked at me for a moment, then huffed. “Alright so it’s a stupid anxiety. Did I really do that good?” He asked curiously. I’m pretty sure I turned a wonderful shade of pink – all over – because he chuckled and dipped his head nuzzle at my throat. “Aww…now you are the one going shy. You’re beautiful when you blush like that, Yama.”
I smacked him on the shoulder and decided that enough was enough. I’d been achingly hard for what was bordering on too long now, and if he didn’t do something I was going to have one hell of a case of blue balls. So I shifted enough that I could get my legs around both his hips and wrapped myself around him as best I could. Just that bit of sudden contact and friction between our bodies – as my leaking cock slid alongside his and rubbed hard enough to drive me crazy – was enough for Taichi to get with the program. He moaned again, and lifted his head to meet my eyes once more as he began to move with a deliberate thrust and roll of his hips into mine.
“Oh gods, yes…” I gasped, worming a hand in between our straining bodies – aided by sweat-slicked skin – to try and get my fingers around both our cocks and add just enough extra to push us over. Taichi muttered something and pulled it away again, though, pinning it up next to my head. “Damn it! Tai!”
“No.” He shook his head and began kissing his way down my chest. I had to drop my legs to let him move, however, and he was lucky I was curious enough to know what he was going to do. I watched, horribly horny by now, as he pretty much took his sweet time exploring every inch of my body from chin to groin – with his tongue. And occasionally teeth. All the while his hands were caressing and rubbing randomly. I had the fleeting realization that it felt like I was being worshipped in some strange (though wonderfully erotic) way.
When he paused, having planted one last kiss to my pelvic bone, I was a humming, squirming mass of nerves. Pushing myself up on my elbows and forearms, I looked down myself at him.
“Why’d you stop?” I asked, a twitch developing in one eye.
Taichi smirked, his fingers closing around my cock and slowly stroking it. I groaned and shivered. His fingers felt even better now than I remembered. I blinked at him lethargically, a little dazed.
“I just wanted your full and undivided attention.” He replied huskily, licking his lips.
I think I may have whimpered. “I’m sure you’ve got it, Tai.” I managed to say, my eyes locked on his hand on my zealously leaking erection as it continued to move. “Why?”
He didn’t answer verbally. Orally, however… Taichi lowered his head and carefully took me into his mouth. Hot, wet suction sheathed me and I fell back to the mattress with an anguished-sounding cry. Far from it. I was in high heaven somewhere on a blissful cloud of pleasure.
I couldn’t take much of it. I was just too eager to hold out – especially when Taichi wasn’t even trying to prolong it now. With a surprising show of talent, he manipulated me with his mouth and a little added assistance from his fingers, rolling my balls in one hand while he jerked and sucked me off with the other. I pretty much lost my sanity as the tidal wave building at the base of my spine expanded into my hard (beginning to hurt because I needed to come so badly) erection. I have no idea what I babbled – with moans, gasps, pleas, and threats – but suddenly the whole world exploded and the release of all that ecstasy blew the top of my head off.
I couldn’t control the way my body arched off the bed, or how I cried out loudly enough that the neighbours probably heard me crystal clear. I certainly couldn’t stop the almost violent twitches and shudders that followed – aftershocks of the earthquake that rocked me. Then again…why would I want to?
“Fuck!” I moaned ecstatically, going completely boneless and lying there on my back like a limp ragdoll. “Tai…oh, lover…I think you killed me.” I pried an eye open when I felt the bed move under me as he crawled up to stretch out beside me.
Taichi looked about as sated and brain-fried as I felt. And he was grinning smugly, a tell-tale streak of white on his cheek that he’d missed. Still breathing heavily, my pulse not yet back to normal, I raised a heavy hand to wipe my cum from his face, a sappy, goofy grin on my own lips. A quick glance down told me he’d come too – though when that happened I hadn’t a clue.
I found the energy to roll toward him and pulled his head toward me so I could kiss him. I purred throatily in approval when I realized the new flavour to his mouth was actually me. His arm curled around me and Taichi pulled me in as close as possible, still kissing me slow and deep.
“Hmm…Yama. You are so incredible.” Taichi nuzzled my neck, his hand stroking my back lightly.
“Me? I wasn’t expecting a blowjob, which was quite impressive, FYI.” I ran my hand over his hip and between us to gently grasp his now softened cock, just holding it tenderly.
“Apparently you liked it, too.” I murmured against his lips. “And I promise to return the favour at the next possible opportunity.” He gasped and I offered my mouth to him, very willing to let him kiss the shit out of me for however long he wanted.
We ended up napping, entwined and twisted up with each other and the sheets, for a while. A couple of hours, maybe. When we woke up we stared at one another for a few sleepy, contented moments before I latched myself onto his mouth and rolled over on top of Taichi to return that favour I’d promised.
Twenty minutes later I was sitting on the bed beside a thoroughly debauched, sated Taichi, lying almost insensate and sprawled out with a dazed grin on his face. We were both all sweaty and sticky – and did I mention naked? – but neither of us seemed to care. Happy to watch him and wait for him to recover, I brought a knee up to my chest and let my hand continue to pet and stroke the slick, golden-hued skin of his thigh next to my hip. I couldn’t seem to stop touching him.
Yawning, Taichi stretched luxuriously, giving me a wonderful eyeful of every muscle and how it all moved under his skin. He blinked lazily at me and dropped a hand on my calf, lightly rubbing. “Hell, beautiful.” He said huskily, his voice thick with affection and happiness and definitely post-coital. I was beginning to love that voice.
“Sexy, Tai.” I admired, raking my eyes over him unabashedly. “I suppose we should shower, change the sheets, go find something to eat…”
“Mmm…food. Yes, we should.” He pushed himself up until he was sitting up properly, drawing my head closer with a hand cupped at the back of my skull. Taichi kissed me, a series of slow, long, deep kisses that were as addictive as any drug. I certainly felt like I’d been drugged when he finally released me. “We can’t shower together through, Yama.”
I will never admit to pouting. “Why not?”
“For one, the shower’s too small.” Taichi chuckled, rubbing my non-pouty lower lip with a thumb. “But mostly because I can’t guarantee keeping my hands off you long enough to actually get clean.”
No-o…I wasn’t at all smug or pleased with myself. Nope. Not at all.
I slid off the bed and waited until Taichi had done the same before stripping off the dirty sheets. I wadded them up in a ball and headed for the washer and dryer, leaving them on the floor there a moment while I went to gather the rest of the dirty laundry. Taichi dumped all his laundry from the week at camp next to the sheets, then grinned as I proceeded to sort through it all into loads.
“Never thought I’d see the great Ishida Yamato doing laundry. In the nude.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and got the first load going. “I’m not putting on clean clothes until I’ve showered.” I reasoned, closing the lid of the washer and spinning the dial. “You go first, and I’ll call for takeout, since I doubt we have much that would make a real meal right now.”
“Taichi nodded, padding into the bathroom. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll be quick, Yama.” He promised.
“Whatever. Oh, what do you feel like eating?” I asked, standing just outside the bathroom to wait for his answer before I went looking for the phone and list of numbers for take-away places.
Taichi poked his head out the door. “Want to celebrate?”
That made me smile. “Sure.”
“Let’s have something off the wall, then. Italian?”
“Okay. Anything in particular?”
“Nah. You know what I like, Yama, so you choose.” He flashed a grin at me and went back into the bathroom. His trust in me when it came to food made me feel all warm and tingly – and strangely domestic.
As I wandered into the kitchen (after grabbing a towel from the linen closet and wrapping it around my hips) I had a bit of an epiphany, and the full reality of this new aspect to our relationship sunk in completely.
Nothing had changed. We were still best friends, we still interacted the same way – from our arguments to how we spent our free time together to our everyday lives in each other’s spaces – and we still had that same comfort level and trust in one another that we’d always had. The only thing new was the sex, and even then it seemed more like a natural progression for our relationship rather than a sudden leap. It felt good. It felt right. And I knew we’d taken the right path for ourselves.
Content with the universe in general, I dug out the list, found the number for the best Italian place Dad and I ever discovered that made deliveries, and dialled it up. After I made the order (including a bottle of nice, white wine) I went to my room to find my wallet and something clean to wear after my shower.
My lover was true to his word. It didn’t take him long to shower before he was walking past my room calling, “Your turn, Yama!” since he didn’t know where I was.
Taking out my credit card, I went to Taichi’s room to give it to him. “Hey.” I said, holding it up as I walked in. He was already in a pair of shorts and was pulling on an old t-shirt. “In case the delivery guy gets here before I’m out.”
“I can pay, Yama.” Taichi protested, eyeing the card.
“So can I.” I put it in his hand and turned to walk out. “You can get the next one.” I heard his resigned sigh and the muttered, “Fine, fine.” behind me and smiled to myself.
No. Nothing changed at all.
By the time I was done with my shower (I take considerably longer ones than Taichi), the food had arrived and my lover was actually setting the table nicely as I padded out to find him. We were both dressed in old, faded and/or ripped clothes that weren’t meant to be seen outside the house, and it really didn’t match the surprisingly romantic atmosphere Taichi was creating out of our late meal. I mean, he had candles! I had no idea he had such a streak of romance in him.
“Wow.” I took in the table, then looked down at my ratty old sweatpants and faded out band shirt. “I feel woefully underdressed.”
Taichi blushed and laughed, shaking his head. “Yama, I don’t care what you’re wearing – especially since, most of the time, I’d rather you wore nothing at all.” He winked and leered at me, reaching over the table to remove the lids from the containers of food. I laughed outright, unsurprisingly flattered to be worthy as the object of his lust. Moving around the table, I sidled up to his side and leaned in to kiss him deeply. After a long, satisfying moment of that, I backed off and went to find a pair of wine glasses. Taichi watched me pour with this goofy smile on his face.
“What?” I wondered, handing him a glass of the white Zinfandel I’d ordered. I’d wanted the white because it always equals a mellow, contented Yamato, whereas red usually just gets me drunk. And I’m a silly drunk. Taichi’s already seen me in that condition and that’s enough blackmail material for him, thanks.
Taichi shook his head, the grin softening into an adoring smile. “Nothing. I’m just insanely happy, that’s all.”
I sipped at my wine and gestured at the table. “Shall we? It’s going to get cold.” I was trying not to blush, failing miserably.
His answer was his growling stomach. Sheepishly he pulled out a chair and sat down. I followed suit, and we dug in to the feast quite happily.
After we’d eaten our fill, put away the leftovers, and cleaned up, we took our wine into the living room and dropped down onto the sofa in ungainly sprawls of arms and legs. Taichi ended up half-lying down, his head resting on the sofa’s arm and his legs thrown across my lap. It was all fine with me. I have a thing for his legs – he is, after all, a soccer player and his legs are a fabulous sight to behold. They’re even better to feel though. And distracting. Oh my…
I blinked and tried to look innocent, like I hadn’t just been fantasizing about where I’d like those legs to be – and the interesting positions we’d be in to get them there. “So what? I’m allowed.” I smoothed my hand up his calf.
Taichi sighed happily, wriggling his bare toes to make the muscles ripple under my hand. I very nearly moaned. “True, that. Actually, I’m wondering how I ever could have missed not realizing how interested you were in me.”
My hand came to an abrupt halt just above his knee. It looked like it was time for that conversation we needed to have, much as I’d prefer wallowing in his amorous attention for a while longer. I sighed and sank back into the sofa cushions.
“I guess I did a really good job of hiding it.” I mused. “There were a few times I fumbled, and I honestly thought you’d finally figure it out, but…” I shrugged, glancing down at him. “You’re a much better actor than I am, Tai. I had absolutely no idea you wanted me. I was convinced that the mysterious person you said you were interested in was someone else. That it had to be someone else.”
“Out of curiosity, why did you think so?” Taichi tilted his head to look at me questioningly.
I laughed at myself. “Because I’m a moron. I was so sure you’d never be interested in me that way to begin with, and then you said you were waiting to see if the person would be receptive…even after you knew I was bi.” I made a face, “Then, even if I hadn’t thought all that, I didn’t want to say anything about my feelings because you’ve had a rough few months and I didn’t want to drop that on you, too – because if you didn’t feel the same, then it just would have made things worse for you.” I threw a side-glance at him, a wry smile on my lips. “Not to mention the damage it may have done to our friendship.”
Taichi nodded, holding out his hand to me. I took it and let him thread his fingers through mine. He gave me a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll be honest, Yama; I think you and I think more alike than we know.” Now he laughed, shaking his head. “I was so hesitant to tell you that I’d fallen for you, for a very long time, because I was worried I’d ruin our friendship even though…we’d promised nothing would.”
I gave his hand a return squeeze. “Which only goes to show how much we must mean to each other, I suppose.”
“Good thing we know, now, how we feel. We can move on.” I rubbed his leg some more, smiling. “Together.”
“Together.” Taichi agreed. I frowned when he sighed and grimaced, like he’d eaten something bad.
“What?” I asked. “I know that face. There’s something you think you should say, but you don’t want to.”
“It’s…about that whole…the handjob last week.” Taichi moved his legs off my lap and sat up, leaning forward to prop his chin up with his hands, elbows braced on his knees.
My frown deepened in puzzlement. “Does it matter anymore?”
“I think it does. Obviously something about it affected you enough to drive you into such a depression that…what? You forgot who we are and what we do just by our existence. I want to know what happened, Yama, because I have to make sure that it’ll never happen again.” He looked at me now, and I understood why he was reluctant to talk about it. At least I could put him at ease, though.
“It won’t. I can promise you that.”
“Matt…” That would be leader-Taichi getting ready to lecture me.
“No, Tai. It won’t.” I asserted. “Listen, last week…I was all hung up on my feelings for you and confused about what to do. Then we…it was wonderful. At first, I thought it was just a dream, but suddenly I knew it wasn’t and then it was too late.” I fought the unnecessary blush off and ran my fingers through my hair. “I never thought I could have that with you – not just the sex but all the feelings that went with it. And when it wasn’t a dream…when it was real, and I realized you hadn’t meant to…” I fumbled, looking inside my own head for the reasoning I’d had back then. Luckily, Taichi caught on quickly.
“I should have clarified, Yama.” He said softly, pulling me into his arms and resting his chin on my shoulder. “So I guess it’s my fault.”
“Shh…let me finish. We didn’t get the chance to talk after, and if we had, I would have explained that no, I hadn’t intended to jerk off my best friend in our sleep. I wasn’t fully awake, by the way, when I…did that. But when I did wake up enough to realize what I was doing…I couldn’t stop myself either. No…that’s not really true. I could have, but…I didn’t want to.” He paused, letting that sink in. “I couldn’t take my hands off you, Yama. You felt so incredible, and the noises you made were just so…hot that I couldn’t help wanting more.” He coughed a little, clearing his throat of the husky, needy quality to his voice. “Then after I got in the shower, I was determined to see how things were between us, and…confess. Everything. Because I didn’t think I’d be able to hide how I felt any longer.”
I snuggled back into his embrace, thinking about it. “I guess I can’t fault you for that. I’m not any better.”
“I’m still sorry, though. I should have just told you then.”
I shook my head. “No more apologies, Tai. It’s done, and we’re together now. That’s all that matters. But, uh, as for my little lapse in judgment…I got all depressed because knowing that you hadn’t meant to be with me like that just cemented my surety that you weren’t interested in me, and I…it really hurt. The rest is my own stupid fault.” I said angrily – at myself, not him. “I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t paying attention and the next thing I knew…”
Taichi hugged me tightly, his voice hoarse. “I was so scared, Yama. I collapsed on the field, and it felt like a part of me was being…I don’t know…torn apart or buried alive. But it wasn’t me – it was that part of me that’s you, and I was terrified! And I couldn’t get to you to find out what was wrong or to help…”
I turned in his arms and kissed him hard, once, then planted softer, less harsh kisses all over his face. “I’m sorry for that. I can’t promise that the Dark won’t come after me again, but I can promise it won’t be because of something I did, Tai.”
He nodded and returned my kisses. “That’s all I’d ever ask of you, Yama. Any of us Digidestined.” He let his forehead rest against mine, eyes closed. “I love you.”
“I love you.” I answered, wrapping one arm around his neck. “And that’s why I can promise. Because now I know, and I have no reason to ever be that depressed ever again.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” Taichi stated fiercely, pressing a kiss to my temple.
I had no doubt that he would.
We stayed cuddled on the sofa a while longer, then hauled ourselves off to bed. It wasn’t all that late, but we’d had an emotional, stressful couple of days.
Stripping, we crawled into Taichi’s bed – newly made up with clean sheets. I was totally content to snuggle up to Taichi’s side and use his chest for a pillow, much to his amusement. I liked it because I could listen to his heartbeat, and the rhythmic pattern of his breathing. It was musical in a completely different way.
“Yama?” He suddenly inquired quietly – just as I was drifting off, too.
“We’re going to have to discuss other stuff soon, too.”
“Like?” I had a pretty good idea, but I was too sleepy to concentrate on it.
“Who we’re going to tell about us and when, what we’ll do about university when the time comes, stuff like that.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow, Taichi. Or the next day.” I yawned. “For now…sleep.”
His hand swept down my back possessively and he sighed, relaxing. “Yeah. G’night, Yama.”
I was already out.
Relevant Episodes: Nothing specific this chapter!